My Life is not my own!

Post my mother’s heart attack last month, our family has been shaken up. It has disturbed me deeply and such a close encounter with life makes you re-evaluate life and it’s relationships, the true meaning of happiness and what really matters. I had put down my thoughts in a previous post: A wake-up call!

A thought that has stayed with me since then, is that if I still need my mother with me at every step, how dependent are my kids, who are just 4 and 2 years old, on me.

They have a whole life ahead of them and a mother is one of the most important companions in the journey of life. She is not simply known as “a cook, nurse, nanny, teacher, caregiver, best friend in one”. She truly lives up to all those roles, and more.

Like all other women, I have held different roles in my 30-odd years of life..a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, friend, student, girlfriend, employee, manager, aunty, fiance, wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc. But being a mother is what has now given meaning to my life.

To be able to love anyone so selflessly, is something that came to me the day I saw that “+” on the pregnancy test! I love my children so much because they are literally a part of me. Not only are they emotionally closest to my heart, they have also physically been closest to my heart. They have heard my heartbeats like no one else has or ever will.

Being a stay-at-home-mum, I spend most of my time with my children, and I hope to continue doing so, as much as I can. I love being with them all the time, but there are times when I do need some space to be myself or do what I want to do. Unfortunately, if this doesn’t happen, I start feeling upset about everything around me, and my children have to bear the brunt of it.

There are days when I am emotionally and physically drained by the time bedtime routines are sorted, and I want to crash before the boys. Just when I think all is done and I’ll lie down with them to put them to sleep, I hear a cry for milk or the washroom, and I have to get up and going again. Being a co-sleeper, I do not get a decent night’s sleep, without being kicked and pushed from all directions. However, I don’t think I’ll have it any other way.

My life is not my own anymore…it is as much theirs too! Isn’t it then my responsibility to take care of myself, and love myself, physically, mentally and emotionally, so that I am capable of doing my best for them?

I do this in small ways by eating healthy, taking care of my skin, trying to get back to working part-time, meeting up with friends for coffee once in a while, and pouring my thoughts out on my blog. Not just me, but every mother should sit back and find time to love and take care of their own self, as much as they do for their children. Always remember, your life is not yours alone..it also belongs to your loved ones and especially those little souls you created!